I don't feel like a house fell on me anymore.
It’s day two of sleep coaching Luke and I feel rested.
It’s been going well so far but I miss my son. I’m so accustomed to carrying him everywhere. Yesterday I started training him to not need me to carry him around every moment he’s awake.
I think he’s a little upset with me for this. He hasn’t been smiling as much – and he’s not looking at me as much as he usually does when breastfeeding.
I don’t know if sleep coaching or teaching him to self-soothe is worth him being so seemingly unhappy.
I keep telling myself it’s only for the short term and I keep reminding myself of how exhausted I was Sunday because he bawled every time he was alone for no longer than three minutes.
I tried sleep coaching in the early days but I couldn’t bear my son being so unhappy. And he was so small I didn’t think it was worth it to put him through such distress.
Day one of sleep coaching this time round was a tad easier on me. He cried some but I would go to him to show him I was still there – sometimes I’d pick him up and just hold him till he stopped crying and had calmed then I'd put him back down.
Today he cried once when left alone. But it was the last stretch of the day so I carried him because I didn’t want him upset before bed. This SUCKS!
The main reason I’m sleep-coaching now is: I’ve been exhausted. So exhausted I’ve been worried it could hamper my ability to care for him properly. I know it's an excuse but there it is.
Kudos to moms who rough it out.
Luke’s such a wonderful child. Other than wanting to be carried all the time (which is my fault) he’s really REALLY easy.
Some of the literature I’ve read suggests that self-soothing allows a child the opportunity to learn how to deal with their emotional states without external input.
All this made sense two days ago when I felt my sanity slipping away from me due to lack of sleep. I pretty much tore the house apart looking for books and mags I'd read concerning this - just so I could hush my baby and get some damn sleep!
But now two days later, while I feel rested, I’m unsure if coddling my son was such a bad thing after all.
I do feel guilty. I’m the reason he’s here. I wanted him and I should be able to handle it –truth be told though I haven’t been doing too well without sleep.
So far, after only two days, he’s managed to sleep on his own (both day and night). This was something he did on occasion before the sleep coaching began but most times he needed to be rocked to sleep.
Since the coaching he’s not as fussy when left alone to play. I’ve been able to get a whole lot more done with two free arms. But like I said I miss my son.
Anyway I’ll see how it turns out tomorrow.
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